12 Tips for Negotiating and Compromising with Difficult People

Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising, or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternate solutions when you’ve “hit the wall.” Whether it involves a person you can’t get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to agree to, a change in office systems, or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success.

1. Have a positive attitude.
Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You have a much better chance of coming to an outcome involving mutual gains if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve a win-win outcome.

2. Meet on mutual ground.
Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about using the phone and e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.

3. Clearly define and agree on the issue.
Agree on the statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.

4. Do your homework.
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side’s concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (nonnegotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable deal, and a minimally acceptable deal.

5. Take an honest inventory of yourself.
Determine the level of trust you have in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.

6. Look for shared interests.
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what is to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

7. Deal with facts, not emotions.
Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

8. Be honest.
Don’t play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you. It is equally important to be clear and to communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.

9. Present alternatives and provide evidence.
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate your willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person’s interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

10. Be an expert communicator.
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side’s concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let the other “vent,” and acknowledge the other’s views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

11. End on a good note.
Develop a win-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have “won.” Shake on it and agree on the action steps, who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to reaching an impasse for non-critical issues; you can agree to disagree on minor issues.

12. Enjoy the process.
Look at the benefits of learning other points of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

From the Knowledge Center http://www.dalecarnegie.com

Tips for Dealing With an Upset Customer

From time to time, you will have to deal with a customer or client who is very upset. No matter who is to blame, it is always important to keep a few principles in mind to improve rather than deteriorate the situation with the customer. Here are some tips for dealing with an upset customer:

1. Stay calm. Try to remain diplomatic and polite. Getting angry will only make the customer angrier.
2. Try to see things from the customer’s point of view. Perhaps you would also feel upset if you were in the same situation.
3. Thank the person for raising the concern and do it sincerely. Emphasize the importance of satisfied customers to you and your organization.
4. Listen for understanding. Sometimes the irate caller just wants someone to listen to their story, even if you are unable to help them.
5. Ask questions to get their facts and feelings. Listen to learn rather than to prepare your response. Don’t respond too quickly.
6. Find points of agreement with their concerns. Establish common ground to show the person you are listening.
7. Always show a willingness to resolve the problem or conflict. Make the resolution seem as easy as possible.
8. Be genuine and show your personality. Respond as an understanding friend rather than by citing policies.
9. Be firm but understanding with your answers.
10. As a last resort, offer to have your supervisor talk to the caller. Your supervisor may say the same things, but sometimes hearing it from someone else has a positive effect on the customer.

From the Knowledge Center  http://www.dalecarnegie.com

Early in my consulting career, I faced a potential PR disaster that taught me some lessons I will never forget. A client confused my company, Sterling Consulting Group, with another consulting company that also had the name “Sterling” in its title. Although our names were not exactly the same, they were close enough. The problem was that the other Sterling was being investigated for defrauding its clients — yikes.

I will never forget the vice president of the North American division coming into a meeting I was leading, pulling me aside, and saying, “We need to talk.” As I listened to his concerns over the pending fallout from the situation, I kept raising my objections and saying, “But that’s not us, that is some other company with a similar name.” Despite my protestations, my client was not convinced.

Within the span of a few days, our relationship with this client went from a smooth-sailing ship to a constant barrage of inquires. To say our work with them was becoming unproductive would be an understatement. Still, up until this point, all my business partner Keith and I did was say, “Well, that’s not us.”

Then we got it. We got what Toyota missed for the first few months of their crisis, what Tiger Woods seemed to be unaware of, and what John Edwards didn’t want to address. We got that simply saying something that seems sufficient to you, but does not address the concerns of the public or your client, is not a productive way to handle a crisis. Certain statements must be made and actions taken to show those watching that you take the situation seriously.

Finally understanding that, we got into gear. We contacted the reporter who first wrote the story to request a letter stating that we were not the company he was investigating, got copies of all our past corporate records, and basically proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that we were an upstanding company, not to be confused with the similarly named nefarious organization being investigated. Once we took these actions, the problem cleared up within a few days, and it was back to business as usual.

There is a lesson in recent PR events that all entrepreneurial web workers — be they freelancers, small business owners or corporate types — can take to heart. That lesson is that when a PR problem occurs, and it will, there is a right way to handle it productively. Here, then, are a few expert opinions on what to do (and not do) to prevent a PR disaster:

Prepare in advance. “Make it a regular part of your staff meetings to figure out what could go wrong,” says crisis expert Jonathan Bernstein.“Craft plans at those sessions that address the operational and communication side of the equation.”

Develop messages that answer anticipated questions. “To be confident and gain credibility, answer questions with a straightforward “yes,” “no,” or “maybe,” followed immediately with “and here is why,” says PR consultant David Sheon. “State your message, state it again and state it a third time.”

Don’t just say, “I’m sorry,” apologize. If you are in the wrong, communications strategist Jason Mudd of AXIA suggests using this Apology Model he crafted for his clients.

• Confess. State what you did. Own up to it. Be clear and candid. Give enough details.
• Apologize. Say, “I apologize” — not just I’m sorry — for whatever it is you did.
• Rectify. How will you make the current situation better? What are the short-term/reactive measures?
• Prevention/Reformation. What are the long-term/preemptive steps that will assure this doesn’t happen again — ever?
• Seek forgiveness. This is important. Don’t forget to ask for forgiveness from your employees, shareholders, customers, community and other stakeholders and those impacted.

While we would all like to believe that PR crises are the purview of large public companies, anyone that has been in business for themselves knows that’s just not the case. By preparing, planning and executing a well-developed crisis strategy, you can productively handle any PR debacle that may find its way to your doorstep.

What steps do you take when a PR crisis hits?

As a freelance contractor, one of my biggest challenges is accurate billing.  My clients will call at a moment’s notice, with the expectation that I will drop everything and focus on their needs, and at times I have gotten so interested in what they are having me do that I simply forget to write down when I started or what I did.

The problem really comes when its time to bill them, because I do want to make the money I am due, but I don’t want to overcharge, and its always a nice thing to have notes detailing the work in order to justify the charges, if a question arises.

I’ve been currently using Dropbox as a time tracking tool, by saving a shared notepad text file between my home and work systems. But this isn’t much of a step up from how I did things before.  Today I discovered Chrometa, and at first glance, it looks like a winner.

Their site says:

Chrometa automatically keeps track of your work time — so you won’t have to. Uncover billable time that fell through the cracks, reconcile your billing in a snap, and supercharge your productivity.

I’ll still have to go ahead and install it, but its 2 am, so I’ll have to fill you in more tomorrow.